A Guide to Talk Romance Like Generation Z: 51 Ultra-Specific Words for Romance, Intimacy and Bad Behaviour

The current period signifies a full decade since the word “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the idea that someone could suddenly stop contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, finding a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes unsuccessful endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a social isolation crisis, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a comprehensive guide to the phrases Zoomers is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ideal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s reply is interested or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who opt out of having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Personal quirks signaling a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions validate your decision to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly extinguish any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {